Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Little Man Syndrone

During Life I daresay we will all meet men like them. Even Men will meet Men like them. You know what I'm talking about, the type of man who feels he need to prove himself, the type to shout down the competition, the one's who will pester you constantly in order to get the job done. Yes Ladies, I am talking about Little Man Syndrome. This is especially common in short men, in which case it can be identified immediately, or men with short equipment, which can be harder to spot. (insert obvious joke here)

Little Man Syndrome, or LMS, occurs in Men with little self esteem or a chip on their shoulder resulting in a number of symptoms. Firstly the inability to drink alcohol without starting fights with men much bigger than themselves. Picture an angry Jack Russell Terrier.

Another symptom is obnoxious behaviour. They become addicted to the sound of people laughing at their jokes and will strive to hear it as often as possible. This can result in bullying and mocking behaviour as their need spirals out of control. Like a Crack Addict they start off paying for their fix out of their own money but soon begin stealing from other people to feed their habit.

LMS is often caused my bullying in early life but can emerge with no recognisable source, some men are just born Dicks. I bring this up as it has come to my attention that a lot of LMS sufferers seem to choose Recruitment as their career paths. I believe that the egotistical nature of the job feeds their addiction to attention and self vindication. Unfortunately for me I have to work with these Losers.

As a result I am constantly pestered by their petty attention grabbing behaviour. Finally I understand what it was like for my Mother. Today for instance, I was being bothered incessantly by one such LMS sufferer, we have since determined the cause of his disorder was him be bullied at school for his auburn hair. He was wounded by me telling him that his candidate was already submitted by another agency, his insecurities skyrocketed and he spent 3 or 4 emails trying to convince me that this was my fault as he had rung me to find out if the candidate had been submitted, which he hadn't. True he does ring me occasionally with this line if inquiry but not on this occasion. I'm afraid that after he had piously told me that he did not in fact want conflict (Jack Russell Terrier) and that mistakes were made. Meaning my mistakes. To which I replied that if he indeed did not want conflict that he should stop bothering me.

Now you see the injustice of the situation is that my two colleagues, who thank god are free from the LMS disease, promptly roared with laughter and told me that I was not a subtle person but they knew what I meant. Unfortunately for me my Boss didn't find it so funny. He saw the email and rang me to tell me how badly I handled the situation. I could feel the old injustices bubbling up, the arguments about us being a Team and so fourth, so I'm afraid I may have been a little clipped. In fact I was practically glacial. This loss of temper has now landed me in another meeting tomorrow, with my Boss. Sigh.

When will I learn? LMS is a thing to be pitied and that there is no point fighting against it. As a gender, females have to rise above their immaturities and provide an example, we need to show stability so those that have hope, recover, and when they do come blinking and stumbling into the light we will be there to catch them and sooth their hurts. The only other option would be to round them all up into a cage marked DANGEROUS: WOEFULLY INEPT and only let them out once they have learnt their lesson, but I fear there would not be a cage big enough.

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