It’s Not Fair!

I have noticed that there is still a bit of a child in me, and not just my secret enjoyment of cartoons! You see I was seeing a man, but it wasn't going well, many many problems mostly deriving from the fact that I am outta here in 6-7 weeks, and I had come to the decision that I was not going to see him anymore. I could tell his interest was waning, he kept cancelling, rearranging rain check etc etc so I though to myself, "Self, is this good enough?" To which the answer was a resounding NO!

So I hatched a plan, it was arranged that we would meet up Saturday night, well Friday turned out to be a little heavier than anticipated and to cut a long story short I didn't get home till 6:30 pm the next day and understandably feeling less than my usual perky self, decided to cancel on him for a change. Then, horror of horrors, it gets to 8 pm and still no call from him, cheeky bugger is trying to stand me up! What if I had had a bath, got dressed, and done my face, all in anticipation? All dressed up and nowhere to go? So I text him and he doesn't want to go out because it’s raining... I'm assuming he will melt. Then it hits me, I will never hear from him again, he will forever believe that he ended it with me! He will get drunk with his friends and when asked what happened he will spout some nonsense about it not working out so he just never text me again! When the truth of the matter was both of us knew it wasn't working and I was just as prepared to end it as he was! The only difference being I was beaten to the punch!

Now the adult in me says who cares? The situation was resolved and neither party was hurt, everyone can move on with their lives now. Part of me though, can’t help but stomp my foot and say "But I wanted to dump him!!"